


Greener Than The Scenery

by takaraikarin



Category: Lord of the Flies
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-09
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2017-12-07 23:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/754287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takaraikarin/pseuds/takaraikarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><span class="small"></span><b>Title:</b> Greener Than The Scenery<br/><b>Author:</b> Takarai Karin<br/><b>Fandom:</b> Lord of the Flies<br/><b>Pairing:</b> Jack/Ralph<br/><b>Rating:</b> PG<br/><b>Disclaimer:</b> No Owning. Just Fangirling. No suing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Greener Than The Scenery

 

It was never _‘I’m sorry’_.

Sometimes it was _‘I never hated you…’_ , followed shortly with a _‘you know that, right?’_ and the words would be muffled against a damp shoulder, and the humidity in the air- from the alcohol to the sex to the crying would often be too much for you, you’d try to hold your breath for as long as you can.

~

It was never _‘I’m sorry’_.

Sometimes it was _‘I never blamed you’_ , and these would be some of those words that were dignified enough for him to actually say while being sober. Which meant these were never said during sex. He would never touch you without alcohol in his veins and his fingers would never shy away from your scars while being so.

~

It was never _‘I’m sorry’_.

But you’re not actually hoping, no matter what you told yourself. Because you both still listened to the other’s call. And even if you still refused to be kissed and he still wore his wedding ring, it was enough that he never questioned your sleeping with the lights on, and that when he often jerked up from his light sleep you’d get to put your arms around him. It was a fair trade, for you.

~

It was never _‘I’m sorry’_.

Even when summers came after summers, the hardest season of all for the two of you. And sometimes his children would want vacations out of town, which meant your flat would stay hopelessly empty even on Wednesdays and Fridays. He’d tell you about it, but he won't say I’m sorry.

He would, however, knock on your door often on those humid late nights when restlessness boiled along in your body like the temperature, and although he never knocked on any other circumstances, he always did in those nights. Fast, off-beat taps that screamed tentativeness, like he was unsure you’d be willing to open it.

At those times, he’d held you tighter and he’d stayed over for breakfast.

~

He was unapologetic up to the end, and that’s what gave you the bravery to come inside the church that day. His wife was staring at you funnily through the dark circles around her eyes but you stood your ground. You sat still through the sermon while staring blankly at the empty choir stalls. You tried to picture the boy from that life time ago, who came into your life with his black cloak billowing arrogantly behind his back, pictured how he would’ve stood there singing with his chin up high. Just like you that day.

You held your chin up high as you slipped the –very cliché- white rose into his folded hands, uncaring of the curious stares you’re receiving. You’d be unapologetic for him. For the day. You wanted to do something daring, like placing a conch inside his casket, perhaps, but you settled for resting your ear lightly against his chest, for just a second, just to make sure. You’ve seen him play dead before.

His last words to you were _‘I’ll be going now,’_ and yours were _‘Will I see you Wednesday?’_. He then shrugged and leaned forward as if to kiss you. Out of habit, you turned your face and he ended up kissing the corner of your lips. You let him held you longer though, as an apology.

Because between the two of you, it was never _‘I’m sorry’_. But you have your salt water scars and your sun-dried tears and it made things eternal and that's the closest to perfection you both could ever have.

 

 

**Stop**


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